Shit BomB vs Shit Test

Quick recap on Shit Bombs:

A Shit Bomb is a defining moment in the early relationship. It is an act of outright disrespect by a woman that would not be tolerable between two reasonable people. It will always come, usually at the beginning of the relationship (3-6 months).

It signals the end of the honeymoon period. It is the woman’s attempt to assert control and dominance in the relationship using emotional blackmail. They all do this. After the first Bomb settles, the Shit Bomb resurfaces, but after a long time. 

What is a Shit Test?

A Shit Test, also known as “Stress Test” is when the woman tests your fitness. It’s lighter than a Shit Bomb. She uses it to see if she’s attracted to you. She feels anxiety inside of her which stems from the insecurity that you might not be good enough for her. She uses it to see if you are easily emotionally affected. She wants to see if you are emotionally resilient, can think on your feet, and that you can handle the shit life throws at you. If you can’t handle her, how can you handle the world?

If you pass the test, attraction rises. It is a sign you can handle the shit life throws at people – and therefore you can take care of her if needed. If you fail, you confirm her anxieties. You’re not good enough. You’re not fit. You will be shitested somewhat frequently throughout the relationship, but especially at the beginning. A shit test is usually a statement that puts you in a precarious situation. Most responses would be “wrong”. 

Shit test examples: 

“You’re not that tall are you”. “I bet a lot of girls are texting you right now”. “Do you think she is hot?” “Did I gain weight?” 

I highlighted the difference because you need to know how to react. A Shit Bomb cannot be entertained. But you can play with a Shit Test.

Most Important Rule

I need to emphasise this: Never let the Shit Test affect you.

No matter how mean she might sound or how hurtful she is being do not let it affect your emotions. Even if it does affect you try your best not to show it.

Your mindset must be: You are a rock that cannot be moved, you can handle anything life throws at you and laugh about it.

How do you respond to shit tests?

In response to a shit test, you can either 

i) ignore it (least effective), 

ii) agree and amplify (most effective), or

iii) vague reply.

Ignoring the Shit Test

Least effective method. When she hits you with a shit test, just change the subject as smoothly as possible. Pretend you didn’t even hear it. It helps if the transition is humourous or grabs her attention so you two can move on to something else.

Example:

She says, “Are you gonna go home and masturbate after this?”

You let it fly over your head and say, “So tell me what you really care or are passionate about”, or, “Charming, ok moving on, what was your impression when I came and talked to you?”

You can see why it’s not so effective. But at least you don’t lose too many points.

Note that there is a good chance she might return to the shit test to give you another go at impressing her. Ignoring it buys you time so that you can figure out an appropriate response. Just don’t over-think it or else you won’t really be present in the conversation.

Agree and Amplify

These are the most effective (except for texting). Agree and amplify is when you accept whatever shit test she gave you and amplify it to absurd proportions. Example:

She says, “Are you gonna go home and masturbate after this?”

You say, “Did you know that the founder of Cornflakes marketed it by saying it prevented masturbation? Guess what you and I are having for breakfast”.

She says, “Do you talk to a lot of girls?”

You say, “Yea I’m on number 1150 today guess how many were grandmas”.

She says, “Who’s cuter, me or your ex girlfriend?”

You say, “Damn that’s personal, would you like to know my bank account details as well?”

She will either laugh or roll her eyes. Either response is fine. Just move on to the next thing in conversation but just know that she’s registered that she has not phased you and you’ve temporarily soothed her anxiety. If you responded really well, the anxiety will convert into attraction.

Vague Replies

A vague reply is a reply that doesn’t answer her question, but you also don’t lose any points. Use them when you don’t have the instant wit to agree and amplify. Vague Reply examples:

She says “I bet you date a lot” / “Do you talk to a lot of girls?”

You say, “I do okay”.

She says, “Who’s cuter, me or your ex girlfriend?”

You say, “You’re both ok”.

She says, “You’re saying I’m not hot?”

You say, “I’m saying you’re not ugly”.

Note on Texts

Shit Texts are trickier. They come, but you can’t reply in the same way. General rule is that you do not agree and amplify on text. It usually comes across badly, especially with Asians for some reason.

When you get a Shit Text, just ignore it, change the subject or hit her with a vague reply.

This is a really tricky subject and we post about Shit Text nuances from time to time on our Instagram stories. If you follow the content, you’ll be able to pass no sweat. To keep up, follow us on social media:

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